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Tonsilitis, Insomnia and how pretty much everything’s fucked up

Posted on May 25, 2007 
Filed Under Daily, Failures

Last night, I had an open clash with my hereditary insomnia and it fucking pwned me. Big time. Now, my bouts of insomnia are nothing new to me but they’re usually nothing a couple of tablets of benzodiazepines cannot fix.

Such was not the case last night. I went home after a productive day at the office, popped two benzodiazepines and went to bed before midnight. I did get to sleep but it was fitful and intermittent. And after tossing, turning and throwing everything in my bed from pillows to blankets around, I sat up and was hit smack in the face with a major anxiety/panic attack.

It started simple enough: When I sat up, I started to worry about this report I left unfinished at work and contemplated on whether or not I should whip out my laptop, get a head start and work on it now. Then it progressed into me worrying about how I could possibly juggle next week’s schedule between practicing for a gig, working and helping my parents prepare for their wedding next month(Renewal of vows or some shit).

Next thing I knew, my anxiety took a tailspin. From worrying about work and my parents’ thing, it deviated to women to global warming to how I want to quit my job and be a Folk singer instead; singing in nondescript bars while being heckled the shit out of by drunk, middle-aged men requesting for Scorpions songs, talking loudly to their friends about how they’re going to beat up their wives later.

At its worst, I was running around in my bedroom, panicking, and eventually twisting my ankle as I tried to dive for the bottle of Xanax on my table. (I do not know why I dove. Don’t ask)

This went on until around 5am when the sun came up and I felt exhausted as hell. I masturbated to try and alleviate my anxiety but even that didn’t work as well as I wanted it to. Finally, I decided to get ready for work. So I turned on the AM radio, took a shower and pretty much did everything but get dressed. I ended up sleeping butt-naked on the couch and woke up around 7:45 with a terrible pain in the right side of my throat. I also noticed I had a slight fever.

Only then did I realize that I cannot come in for work. So I called in sick feeling like shit because my throat is sore as a motherfucker and because I was up all night, I’m feeling perversely irritable.

So yeah, apparently I have tonsilitis and honestly, tonsilitis ranks high up there with Polio and AIDS as maladies I’d much rather NOT have. (I mean come on, people with polio walk funny and they get laughed at. But AIDS–hmmm, I don’t think it wouldn’t be too bad to have AIDS).

Anyway, for the most part of the day, I have eaten nothing but Strepsils (And honestly, what the fuck are Strepsils anyway? They’re fucking candy without any medicinal value. Anyone who believes they’re good for anything is an idiot.) because every time I swallow anything, it feels like somebody’s stabbing me in the right side of my neck.

Also, before you assholes beat me to it, YES I am a pussy with all this “I’m sick and I need mummers to dab my forehead with a wet face towel ever two hours” and “I’m probably going to die tonight and if I do, I don’t want my asshole brother to inherit the PlayStation” and “What the fuck’s up with my penis, why does it look like a shriveled prune?” whining.

Fuck you all.

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