Women can suck my sweaty balls
Posted on June 11, 2007
Filed Under Daily, Faggotry
I was IM’ing with my Ex-girlfriend the other day and she had this to say about one of my posts:
So yeah it’s official: I HATE WOMEN. And if by any chance I ever get a girlfriend again, I am going to cheat on her constantly. Like, all the time.
In fact, I now intend to get a girlfriend for the sole purpose of doing the following:
- Get some weird-ass STD; preferably Human Papilloma Virus and genital warts.
- Infect the girlfriend with the aforementioned STD.
- Get addicted to expensive designer drugs; an addiction which will be secretly funded by the girlfriend’s savings account.
- Punch girlfriend’s father in the throat.
- Poison girlfriend’s cat.
- Murder girlfriend’s brother with my shoe.
These are all I can think of so far but I’m sure I’ll come up with more as the embers of my hatred for women burn hotter.
Whatever. Now I feel depressed. I think I’m going to go ahead and whittle what’s left of my self esteem by languishing away in some beer house, getting plastered to a point where I wouldn’t be able to recognize basic shapes and colors while trying to strike a conversation like this with a GRO:
GRO: “So what do you do?”
Me: “I’m a TV writer.”
GRO: [unimpressed] “Really? Anything I’d be familiar with?”
Me: “I write scripts for Master Showman.”
GRO: [not believing for one second] “uhuh.”
Me: “So if I slip you an extra 200 pesos will you suck my bird? Or give me a hand job in the parking lot at least?”
GRO: “I don’t think so Kuya Germs.”
Yay. Fucking Yay.
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15 Responses to “Women can suck my sweaty balls”
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Mike "Fucking" Villar
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"The personal blog of Marketing Strategist, Rising Internet Star, Man Blog editor, child pornographer, alcoholic, and cokehead-- Douchebag Jones--Err, Mike Villar! -
bahh.. what’s the lowest she can do.
Why o why did I ever agree to be friends with you? You have so much class Mikey, clapclap
Riz, we are friends by default. Not by choice. Please love me.
Mikey, you dont hate women! I know something nobody else knows and if anything you should be very happy!
I know Mia. And here’s all I can say: 8->
if you ever need help poisoning that cat.. i’m your man!
8->
Dude come on I was just kidding about the cat. What kind of sicko are you people?
8->
You know one of your favorite female online friends likes cats, don’t you? Uh-uh.
i have some creative ideas as to the art of murdering with a shoe. mules, for one, are good weapons of choice. techniques may vary, from first poking the victims left eye with the pointed tip and then stuffing said tip in his asshole, then chopping the dick with…er. Uh yeah. I go now. Byez.
*pats* *pats*
Aw come on. Just because you had a psycho ex-girlfriend doesn’t mean the next one’s gonna be just as bad.
Cheer up, emo kid.
man, you used to be funny.
now you’re just…mean,
and boring.
I have become a dyed-in-the-wool misogynist!
Women are:
Whining, vain, manipulative, mentally unstable attention whores!
I’m not gay, I just don’t want to stick my dick in there anymore. Have you ever looked at a pussy? My god, I’d just as soon stick it in a bowl of warm oatmeal! At least it doesn’t look like that! (and feels just as good, with no bulls**t attached!)
I can’t imagine why men don’t kill them all, other than that they’d have to f**k sheep the rest of their lives! Once you get over the need to get laid, you’ll do without ‘em! Problem is, most men don’t! C’mon, guys, once you have this attitude, women don’t really realize that they don’t have any power over you any more! (and therein lies the key–they KNOW exactly what they are doing, and will use it to their advantage!)
A little hippy-hippy shake here, a little whisper in your ear there, and you’re hooked, because your penis rises. Don’t be fooled! Woman is an evil bitch, it just may take a little time to realize it.
Sorry, but I just hate women so much right now that the most beautiful woman in the world could dance nude in front of the T.V., and I’d tell her to get out of the f**king way!
sorry, I left a couple of things out–
The female thinks that the male is “dumb.”
Bwahahahaha!
Suppose that explains all the dumb blonde jokes!
And when’s the last time you heard the phrase “men drivers?”
Know what you call two blondes standing on their heads? Two brunettes with bad breath!
Woman haters, lets hear it! Once you get over your obsession with pussy, you got ‘em “by the balls”, so to speak! It’s such a liberating experience!
Don’t let them fool you. They’ll be as sweet as candy, and the nicest thing you’ve ever experienced, until you really piss ‘em off. Then you’ll be sorry you ever met them, I assure you. It may take years, but I assure you it’ll happen sooner or later. Believe me, you don’t wan’t to trade years of bliss for the misery they will put you through in the end. They are capable of more evil s**t than your worst male enemy can ever think of!