What the fuck’s up with this chick from work?
Posted on June 23, 2007
Filed Under Nickel and Diming
There’s this semi-attractive chick who works in another department at work who, when I run into her in the office, looks at me with such terror and lack of respect accompanied by an air of intense dislike that I can pretty much safely assume that she reads this blog. Either that or I look like the guy who premeditatedly and brutally killed her parents back in 1992. And I share the same set of fingerprints with him. And the same DNA. Whutev. Semantics.
Anyway, Miss, and I’m pretty sure you’re reading this, you really don’t have anything to be afraid of/feel disgusted of about me. Just approach me and maybe nod your head in greeting. You’ll find out that I’m actually coy and meek in real life, so I’ll probably decline your approaches and overtures at first, but if you do it long enough, You’ll get me to smile. And eventually, I’ll show you a bloodied butcher’s knife and say in a grating, guttural voice: “I loved the sweet, hot wine that came from your mother’s heart–wine that I sucked from the hole I punctured in her neck with this knife. Also, your father cried like a little bitch…”
Yes. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.
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17 Responses to “What the fuck’s up with this chick from work?”
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Mike "Fucking" Villar
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"The personal blog of Marketing Strategist, Rising Internet Star, Man Blog editor, child pornographer, alcoholic, and cokehead-- Douchebag Jones--Err, Mike Villar! -
it was you?
No, it was my clone “Miggy.” Or was it? DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNN
LOL you can get really messed up sometimes funny still
Are you sure you didnt make any sexual advances towards this girl like you always do?
It could be that she is a loyal reader of your blog, and only recently realized that you are in fact “The Mike Villar” in living and odious flesh form. Now she is perplexed if your musings about such matters as your penis size or lack thereof and many other self processed inadequacies are real or myth. I truly pity the young thing if she does gather the courage to seek the truth. Or it might be that someone has identified you as a special needs hire and she is taking pity on your poor retarded soul.
semi-attractive eh? hmm.. definitely NOT the HR witches. Hu Dat chick?
Mia: Unless touching her shoulders, rubbing my crotch while nodding is considered a ’sexual advance’, no.
Robert: I did not understand a thing you said. You silly Americans and your big words.
TJ: Definitely not HR. Try IMS
Maybe it was the time you tried to rape her in the parking lot. You had me as the lookout, remember?
who the hell is that chick mikey? any new bloods since i left?
Intriga tuloy ako… to da max!
You didn’t have to post here what you emailed me, you know. Next time you blog about me, you place a link to my site ok?
jesus!
Wat?? IMS??? Tel Tel Tel… Who dat chik??
hmmmm.. i think I have an idea.. hahahah..
Perhaps you just misunderstood the chick. Why not be the first to approach her? If she still acts the same, then it’s time to conclude that she really sees you as somehow a pycho or serial killer. (*smile*)
Did I just break your heart? Or perhaps… your ego?
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