Flashback: no daughters
Posted on November 23, 2007
Filed Under Anatomy of a Drunk Man, Daily, Failures
The way I strain my myself by intrusively and troublingly thinking about marriage is well documented in this blog. I also wrote about my long-standing grudge with God, how I am disgusted at the thought of having kids one day and how he’d probably be a big power-tripping douchebag and probably give me five of them.
Lately, the more I think about marriage, I realized that the only thing that’s worse than having kids is having a daughter. I also know that this is pointless since I know that God will punish me for the lifetime of douchebaggery I lived with seven HOT daughters. (God, if you’re reading this, my only wish is that if you ever do punish me in this fashion, please take me before they start ovulating. Thank you.)
Probably the biggest thing that led to this realization is a flashback I had of one of the crazy nights I had two years ago. I was out partying with college friends one night and there was this girl in our group who is probably the perfect reason why someone would NOT want to have a daughter. No, it wasn’t the fact that she was making out with another girl; that was perfectly fine by me. Nor was it her awkward attempts at giving some guy in our group a lap dance.
It was the fact that several hours into the party, I saw her dig into her bag to pull out a bottle, reach for her San Mig light, popped a couple of pills and washed them down with her beer. This was at around 9:00pm in a nice Quezon City club. Very classy.
Now, don’t get me wrong. The last thing I’d want to do is to judge other people, especially women, for their drug use. Up until recently, I was madly inlove with all sorts of drugs. But come on, doing it publicly? What the fuck is that? At that point, I wanted to come up to her and yell “THAT’S WHAT THE FUCKING REST ROOM IS FOR LADY!” into her ear. Instead, I just gave her 400 pesos after a few more shots to grind her behind on my crotch and ask weird questions like “Is that your bird or your pinky?”
I mean come on. The first step to helping someone is letting them help themselves.
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Mike "Fucking" Villar
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"The personal blog of Marketing Strategist, Rising Internet Star, Man Blog editor, child pornographer, alcoholic, and cokehead-- Douchebag Jones--Err, Mike Villar!
It’ll be sweet watching you and your family of girls someday.
You’re smart and funny as hell - I’ll bet you’ll be a great dad!
^ Having known Mike, I wouldn’t equate “great dad” with him.
Don’t listen to Ade Jali, he just wants to club you and drag you back to his house to RAPE you. Ade is an evil person.
I, on the other hand and like you said, am Smart AND funny. Elope? No? k.
Mike, you are indeed smart and funny. But as Jali said, “as hell”. That means you are the devil’s spawn.
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