Insightful conversations with Mom #1: The Nativity
I had the pleasure of having this tragically annoying, albeit funny conversation with my mom this morning, which I am, against my better judgment, reproducing here in verbatim so you, my readers could have a few cheap laughs at her expense. Also, I am a terrible son and I’m probably going to hell.
My Mom: “I need to ask you something, my church group needs to come up with a presentation for Christmas. I’m thinking of a short play. What do you call that Jesus, Mary and Joseph thing? You know, the one where the three kings visit them in a manger to offer baby Jesus gifts?”
Me: “The Nativity of Jesus?”
My Mom: “No, I’m sure it’s called something else. Your Tita Vina mentioned it earlier.”
Me: “Are you sure it’s not the Nativity of Jesus? I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s called.”
My Mom: “No, it sounds a little more formal than that. It’s on the tip of my tongue…What was it again?”
Me: [10 seconds of silence] “Jesus’ Nativity?”
My Mom: “YES! That’s it!”
Me: [headpalm]
I love my mom.
The Anatomy of a Really Bad Morning
3:08am
Was the time displayed on my macbook’s clock last night before I finally decided to call it a day and sleep despite being awake since 7 in the morning the day before. Another battle with insomnia compounded with panic attacks and anxiety I summarily lost.
4:14 am
The time on the clock when I realized I’ve been lying in bed for over an hour, shifting troublesomely while thinking about things such as:
- “My heart is racing, is this a heart attack?”
- “I already have a memo for tardiness, I have to make sure I set my alarm.”
- “I wonder if I’m entitled to a Christmas bonus. If not, I’m fucked.”
- “Seriously my heartbeat’s getting weird, I really think this is a heart attack.”
Data, Voice and Video: Happy Telecom’s Triple Play Service is Every Web Worker’s Wet Dream
“Anytime, Anywhere” is Happy Communications‘ Chief Marketing Officer Marvin Cruz’s proposed tag line for his company’s soon to be launched consumer WiMAX service.
Anytime, anywhere what? Well, anytime, anywhere 2MBPS Data, VOIP and Video that’s what.
I met with Marvin over dinner and I must say that from what he describes the service to be, I’m already creaming my pants in anticipation and I foresee other web workers like myself blowing their loads too once the service rolls out sometime in 2008.
If you’re anything of a web worker as I am, you’ve probably experienced using other mobile data platforms to use VOIP to communicate with clients or send important documents to them while you’re on the road. Everything’s going great until Globe Visibility arbitrarily decides to shift down from giving you HSDPA connectivity to GPRS causing your VOIP connection to get choppy and your file transfers to dramatically slow down. In a moment of utter frustration, you mumble something about wanting to throw newborn babies up in the air and catch them with bayonets–something which your Japanese client overhears. Next thing you know, you’re haunting gasoline stations along South Luzon Expressway, and giving weary travelers hand jobs in exchange for food.
BeerCast: Ang Show na Walang Katulad
What happens when you put 5 cases of San Miguel Beer, a group of alcoholic bloggers and a microphone together?
Well:
- A lot of cussing.
- A lot of racist jokes.
- A lot of dicking around.
- Bim, having an emotional breakdown as he regales others with stories of his childhood replete with sexual abuse and incest.
- Some asshole double-fisting drinks all night and eventually throwing up and passing out on the cold bathroom floor.
Seriously though, I had a blast recording this podcast and I hope we can do more of this in the future. Special thanks to San Miguel Beer for sponsoring the event; Jayvee Fernandez for making all of this possible, Lauren and Noemi Dado for letting us destroy their house, eat all their food and steal one of their figurines (Okay I did it. I’ll return it, I swear. Jeez.); and to everyone else who were part of the podcast, the show wouldn’t be half as fun without you guys.
Quitting beer, top 5 lies, drunk
I’ve done something incredibly horrible over the past few weeks. I tried to stop drinking. Worse, I kept it a secret from you guys. I am not going to regale you with a dramatic story of triumph because the way I used italics several sentences back, It’s obvious that I’ve achieved nothing but utter failure in that endeavor.
Let me say one thing though: Trying to quit drinking somewhat feels like going to a maximum security prison. The weeks I spent trying to abstain from drinking felt like years, so in a way, I kinda felt like I was “away” for several years. Kind of like that time when I was “away” for two years when I “borrowed” money from someone’s wallet over at the church at Novaliches Bayan; and that someone just happened to be an off-duty police officer.
I didn’t try to quit drinking for anyone else but myself. I just felt like I just needed to get my shit together and quitting something that permeates my thoughts an average of 18 hours a day seemed like the first logical step. Anyway, during that period, I still saw my friends but for the most part, the contact we had with each other was minimal as I’ve been hanging out with my girlfriend 80% of the time.
Last Saturday, my girlfriend and I decided to spend some intimate time over at Tagaytay and man, like a convict whose parole just got approved by the parole board, I was fucking out and I was loving it.
Drinking in Tagaytay is a territory which I rarely, and if ever, very cautiously venture into. What the girlfriend and I usually do is just pig out on diner food, chew the fat for a few minutes and head over to where ever it is we’re staying for some awesometastic downtime.
Saturday was different in a sense that we both wanted to drink. I cannot stress enough how rarely this happens and I was like all screw abstinence, I’m drinking.
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Mike "Fucking" Villar
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"The personal blog of Marketing Strategist, Rising Internet Star, Man Blog editor, child pornographer, alcoholic, and cokehead-- Douchebag Jones--Err, Mike Villar!
