Celebrities and Me: Maja Salvador
A couple of months ago I posted the first entry of a series where I intend to post detailed accounts of celebrity run-ins I’d have in an attempt to assert the “fame” I supposedly have.
Now, you might be asking yourself: “What has this Mike Villar character been up to lately? Why, in the span of three months, did he only manage to run into one celebrity? I mean even I, a mere non-famous reader of his, manage to run into at least five celebrities a month.”
To which I will reply: “Well, asshole, I have this thing called a job–something which requires me to sit in front of the computer for at least ten hours a day. Also, didn’t you know? last month, I was abducted by a group of Taiwanese adolescents who locked me up in an abandoned bodega to train me in the intricate art of cockfighting. So shut up already. You’re just showing everyone how non-famous and ignorant you are.”
Anyway, I was at SM North yesterday with my girlfriend–and let me go off a tangent here: I fucking hate SM North and people who shop there. Admittedly, just like I wish death upon people who drive souped up Honda Civics, pretty girls who engage in a relationship with lesbians, orphans and people who pollute my Internet with Inanity they stuff in a silly little online diary they call a ‘blog’, I hate people who hang out at SM with every fiber of my soul.
As per my observation, there are just two types of people who go to SM: The “pinstripe button-down, tight pants-wearing metrosexual/douchebag who works for minimum wage in Makati who shops for gay/annoying clothes at shops like G2000 or Folded & Hung” types and those who are too poor to go anywhere else so they decide to just clog up the aisles of SM eating peach mango pie they bought from Jollibee.
And really, what happens when you put like several thousands of these people in one mall several weeks before the Holidays? Your face ends up in someone’s armpits, your girlfriend’s ass gets groped and you are subjected to all sorts of conversational inanity ranging from “Padi, san ang next project natin?” to “I work for a call center! look a new expensive Phone! I want that! Um, do you have a coin I could scratch my Globe 100 peso prepaid card with? No? K! [listens to iPod]”
Anyway, as I was saying, I was at SM North yesterday with the girlfriend because I needed to pick up a book over at Fully Booked and get new Creative Earphones for my iPod (Shut up).
So I went to the SM Appliance center, picked the cheapest headphones I could find and lined up to pay for it right? Guess who fell in line behind me? That’s right–Maja “Fucking” Salvador. And really, I could not conjure up the right words to describe how she looked. All I knew was that I wanted to kiss her mouth.
And as a common courtesy people who are celebrities such as ourselves extend to each other, I gave her a nod and my best attempt at a smile. I was ignored.
Apparently she didn’t see me because an old lady in a wheelchair recognized her and started talking to her about how Maja’s her favorite actress and how she has a cat named Maja. And Maja was blown away by this. Well, I suppose it’s one thing for another celebrity such as myself to smile and nod at you and a wheelchair-bound octogenarian to say that she named a creature that she’d spend the next eight years (depending on how well her chemo’s going. Yes, I went there) of her life with after her. I mean, if somebody told me there were like hamsters named Mike Villar in existence, I’d probably be blown out of the water too. Whatever.
Celebrities, they amuse me sometimes.
Also:
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what no fan pics of you drooling over shoulder? Like, taken with a camphone?
I would’ve taken one only if she weren’t too busy with Ms Stephen Hawking.
Ms. Stephen Hawking… LOL!
What do you mean by MFEO?
THAT hot, eh?
Made For Each Other! lol
Also, let’s not make fun of the best minds of our time.
LOL WHATA STEPHEN HAWKING
mike, that photo of yours is…unflattering.
Mike, I seldom read you entries. But that photo (and caption) made me read the whole entry. can’t help it LOLz
Liz, I couldn’t remember even one photo of me that is “flattering.” So ya.
dhonjason, what the fuck? You SHOULD be reading my entries all the time. In fact, go tell your mom and her mah jong buddies, make me famous! Go!
Guess what, I met Victor Wood. He even jammed with my band. Yeah, he’s not half as hot as Maja, but oh well.
Beauty and the beast. LOl. Kidding pre.
Ang sarap m0ng i sex
Pards bawasan mo kakakiskis ng puwet ng arenola..try mo naman sa piyanse mo gamitan mo ng syanse.