Fucking zit

I’ve always had relatively great skin. I mean it’s not super smooth or anything but I’ve never had pimple problems. The worst I had to deal with were a bad case of white heads which I pricked the shit out of leaving my cheeks badly pock marked.

Also, white heads are gummy and they taste a lot like butong pakwan. Just saying.

Anyway, as much as I want to be thankful for my skin, I’m not as I feel like this is the least God could’ve done for me after totally going crazy on me by making me fat, giving me a goofy face and all sorts of mild mental illnesses. It was as if Moses walked in on God going crazy on me, pulled him off of me and said “Dude, you need to take the chill pill! Nobody deserves to be that ugly, let’s at least give him relatively great skin!”

But when I get stressed, a ginormous pimple would periodically appear on the same spot on my forehead. And when I say ginormous I mean GINORMOUS; it’s like another person is growing out of my face. Seriously, the last time I got this zit, I could make out the contours of little legs sticking out of the mass.  Back in 1993, I could’ve sworn my zit said “Wake up ‘tard-face!” to me while I was sleeping.

Whatever. Right now, the pimple I have is just a small red rash but I know this is going to fucking erupt in like three hours. Just in time for my date with the girlfriend.

I have nothing else. Fuck me.

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