Celebrities and Me: Maja Salvador
A couple of months ago I posted the first entry of a series where I intend to post detailed accounts of celebrity run-ins I’d have in an attempt to assert the “fame” I supposedly have.
Now, you might be asking yourself: “What has this Mike Villar character been up to lately? Why, in the span of three months, did he only manage to run into one celebrity? I mean even I, a mere non-famous reader of his, manage to run into at least five celebrities a month.”
To which I will reply: “Well, asshole, I have this thing called a job–something which requires me to sit in front of the computer for at least ten hours a day. Also, didn’t you know? last month, I was abducted by a group of Taiwanese adolescents who locked me up in an abandoned bodega to train me in the intricate art of cockfighting. So shut up already. You’re just showing everyone how non-famous and ignorant you are.”
Anyway, I was at SM North yesterday with my girlfriend–and let me go off a tangent here: I fucking hate SM North and people who shop there. Admittedly, just like I wish death upon people who drive souped up Honda Civics, pretty girls who engage in a relationship with lesbians, orphans and people who pollute my Internet with Inanity they stuff in a silly little online diary they call a ‘blog’, I hate people who hang out at SM with every fiber of my soul.
Oh come on people!
I just hate it when people ask me retarded-ass questions like “Are you really a Rising Internet Star?”
Okay, did you honestly think that you are the only person who reads this blog? Did you think I was lying when I write about how popular I am and how people regularly come up to me in public to say how they love reading my blog? Seriously, did you think I just got messed up one night, woke up hungover the next day with sisig tidbits stuck in my hair and said to myself: “Hey, I think I want to call myself The Rising Internet Star and publish lies over the Internet about how popular I am and how my blog gets 4,000 hits a day?” Of course not. I hope you’re not that deluded.
Muzak. Nostalgia. Sucktitude.
I’ve been in the band scene for as long as I can remember. Sure I was never serious about it because admittedly, I am not very good at what I do. I remember getting myself my first guitar, a fake Fender Stratocaster, when I was twelve and quickly learned how to play it.
In High School, I played a couple of gigs, mostly for school events like foundation days (and that stupid graduation ball where the Dean of Discipline accused me and my friends of “contaminating” the food with our saliva. We almost didn’t graduate, that asshole).
But my musical career, if you could call it that, peaked right before High School ended. I found out that one of my friends played wicked drums, another one of our friends learned to play the guitar(I would eventually relinquish my guitar-playing duties to him and pick up the microphone to “sing”) and we met an old college guy with weird fingers through him who played the bass.
GarageBand Tuesday: Cats in the Cradle
In this episode of GarageBand Tuesday:
- Our favorite Internet Star hangs out with his friends over two cases of Red Horse.
- He looks in the mirror and realizes that, so far, he has lived a life where he is considered by everyone he meets to be in the lower 10th percentile of attractiveness.
- He gets extremely emo, whips out his guitar and came up with the monstrosity below.
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The Star
Mike "Fucking" Villar
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"The personal blog of Marketing Strategist, Rising Internet Star, Man Blog editor, child pornographer, alcoholic, and cokehead-- Douchebag Jones--Err, Mike Villar!
