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House, douchebags.

Posted on January 10, 2008 
Filed Under Daily, Failures

If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you’d know that I am currently riding turbulent waves made of pure, molten relationship sucktitude. The funny thing is that none of the shit I’m going through has done anything to curb my obsession for getting married.

In fact, right now, I am compulsively worrying about the intricacies of getting my own house. And you really can’t blame me for doing this, after all, this douchebag got married and ended up living in a posh Eastwood condominium and this other douchebag got married and ended up living in a ritzy house in Alabang.

Now, in my current state of financial impotence, how am I supposed to get married, go to a real estate broker with a stack of old comic books, a Super Nintendo, and a jar of 5 peso coins and expect to walk away with a house that’s even livable?

I can’t.

Instead, I’ll tell you what’s bound to happen: Someday, when I finally trick a girl who has just the right amount of insecurity into marrying me, I am going to thrash around more in and inevitably allow myself to sink further down the quicksand of debt by mortgaging my life away for a house I could never afford.

For me, it’s all about posturing and I know that I’m going to spend the first twenty years of my married life living in an expensive house with no electricity, making presents made of art paper and plastic bottles every Christmas, and eating Korean-made instant noodles every meal because I got myself 8 million pesos into debt to make myself look rich.

I can’t wait!


Comments

4 Responses to “House, douchebags.”

  1. Pau on January 10th, 2008 6:33 am

    Don’t worry dude. I’m sure someday you’ll meet that special someone who won’t press charges.

    And don’t think all’s bed and roses with me. Like I keep telling you, whenever I hear about your debt problems, I laugh at the triviality of your problems (penis) compared to ours (penis).

  2. Mikey on January 10th, 2008 7:04 am

    The only problem I have is I don’t live in a posh place that straddles the Marikina fault line. Also, cancer.

  3. Mia on January 10th, 2008 10:37 am

    wuuu what of the condo fund?

  4. Jemerine on January 10th, 2008 7:32 pm

    LOL why dont you rent first? I started renting before getting my own place

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