The Beginner’s guide to winning online debates

In the span of over 4 years of kvetching and making fun of all things stupid on various blogs I write for, I’ve received many a complicated and horrendously misspelled email or blog comment informing me in very vivid detail of how much I suck.

I’ve always tried to see these comments or emails as constructive criticism; but sometimes, comments like “Mike Villar likes to lick donkey balls because he has the intelligence quotient of a barbecue skewer. Also, he is a gay and a dumb” are too much for even myself to resist:

Yes. Sometimes, I cannot help but retaliate with an effortless strike of witty, obscene, curse-filled polemic whenever comments like these find their way in my inbox. Of course this isn’t exactly a good idea because as we all know, arguments done over the internet last an average of 62 years and sometimes even carries over to your unsuspecting progeny’s internet life. (Most of the flames directed towards me were actually just spillovers from my dad’s tiff with some members of a Dragon Ball Z message board back in 1967)

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Human Resources - A Category mistake

I want to add something to this post, which, in typical Seth Godin fashion, hits the nail squarely on the head.

I have worked with a lot of companies in the past and if there is one thing that’s common between all of those companies’ Human Resources departments, it has got to be the fact that, traditionally, the department has assumed the role of a pen-pushing, forms-collating, support unit.

Sure, I’ve worked with some HR departments that have people in them who do stellar jobs in sourcing talent, but never have I seen such a department that gives equal weight to taking care of talent.

An excerpt from Seth’s post:

What if you started acting like the VP of Talent? Understanding that talent is hard to find and not obvious to manage. The VP of Talent would have to reorganize the department and do things differently all day long (small example: talent shouldn’t have to fill out reams of forms and argue with the insurance company… talent is too busy for that… talent has people to help with that.)

I couldn’t agree with this more. If you’re a company looking for top talent to join your ranks, do you think that putting your hat in your hand, extending an attractive compensation package and pretty much just chucking the candidate into the routinary fray of things to rot forever would suffice?

Even sadder is how most Human Resources departments seem to try to mitigate their workload by dumping clerical tasks (i.e. Attendance monitoring, forms-filing, etc.) to the people they hire to become middle management superstars.

I guess what I’m driving at is that if you want to keep top talent, you have to treat them like Superstars–and I’ll tell you what superstars don’t do: They do not fill up leave applications in triplicate for their staff, nor do they argue with accounting on behalf of their staff members because of salary disputes. Superstars are too busy excelling at what you hired them to do for any of this.

And what the fuck’s up with the term “Human Resources” anyway? “Resource” is not something you ascribe to the word “Human.”

Following Seth’s lead: How about “Corporate Talent Management?”

Negative Thinking For Idiots

The second my girlfriend handed me a copy of a Blue Mountain book about Positive Thinking, I knew I had it–The crushing validation that I, Mike Villar, Rising Internet Star, am the world’s biggest pessimist.

I know that my girlfriend has nothing but good intentions in wanting me to think more positively and frankly, I am all for changing for the better.

But while that’s true, I see no real pragmatic reason to become a frivolous, young optimist. I mean come on, how fun can that be? All those optimists do is to anticipate that everything is going to end up fine peachy in situations where normal people (and negative thinkers like myself) would have no choice but to embrace the staggering truth that life is transient, happiness is an illusion and we are born for only one purpose: To die.

Anyway, before I cross over to a world where musical little bunnies follow me where ever I go and colorful flowers sprout where ever I tread; I want to make sure that I pass the torch to a new batch of people who’re going to keep it real. A batch of people who will believe only one immutable truth: and that is the world is nothing but a savage joke played by a negligent, chortling God and no matter how good this life gets, it’s nothing but a grim preview of the burning, eternal hell that awaits us in the afterlife.

In order for me to succeed in this endeavor, I have created a guide that differentiates the reactions to everyday scenarios of a positive thinker from that of a negative thinker. Remember, it is important that you learn how to think negatively as soon as possible. After all, every day you spend in this forlorn Earth is like another step you take towards your inevitable doom.

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Garageband Thursday: Anyone Else But You (Juno Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

In this episode of Garageband Thursday, I decided to do this catchy anti-folk number by the Moldy Peaches off the Juno Original Motion Picture Soundtrack.

I think this was the song that was playing when Ellen Page was giving birth and was the song Ellen Page and Michael Cera sang on that scene at the end of the movie after they like gave away their baby to Jennifer Garner or something.

Also, I think giving up babies for adoption is the most awesome thing in the world. I have nothing else.

 
icon for podpress  Anyone Else But You [3:08m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Narcotic awesome. Also, sad

The milder(compared to the previous one prescribed to me) anti-anxiety pill I’m taking reduces me to a steaming heap of messy, conflicting emotions. Sure, I do calm down when I pop one of these babies but for some reason, after I do, I get cloyingly nauseous and I feel a myriad of emotions ranging from lust and hunger to extreme sadness.

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