Promotion. Or something.
Posted on February 5, 2008
Filed Under Daily, Nickel and Diming
There are only a few things I’m unambiguously against: Polio, couples who show blatant disregard to bitter, single people by holding hands in public places, men kissing other men, and you really should know this by now: Hard work.
(Wait, on second thought I shouldn’t hate seeing men kissing other men because I myself have kissed other men a couple of times. Like that one time my best friend JL accidentally wandered into my room in drunken stupor and mistook me for the girl he was making out with a couple of hours prior. But whatever, that only happened like 2 times and it’s not like I didn’t pay him 200 pesos on both occasions. So yeah, whatever.)
Anyway, back to hard work, several days ago, and I swear, I don’t know how the hell this happened so don’t ask, I got a promotion at work. I wish I could go ahead and say that things changed for the better for me after I got this promotion but au contraire, my life has been sent into a steep plunge of manipulation, more sexually deviant behavior and yes, working hard. This, my friends, is the reason why I haven’t been blogging as much as I want to.
I mean after I got promoted, my typical day spiraled down into a routine of putting in 12 hours of work, getting home at around 9pm with barely enough strength to whip out my bird and masturbate furiously to whatever is on Animax like I used to.
Just to give you an idea of the stress that’s been coming at me from all sides lately: The way my department is structured is kind of like how the X-men are structured–different members of the team have different areas of specialization. We have a Cyclops, a Storm, a Wolverine an Iceman and (a girl who looks like) the Beast. My direct superior is sort of like Professor X and I’m like a transvestite Jean Grey. So basically, I have the same powers as my superior–I specialize in the same thing only with far less efficiency and a lot more queerness.
Can you imagine the X-men being led by a fat, sexually deviant, clinically depressed telepath? No, because someone like that would fucking run the team into the ground–something which is sort of happening to my department right now because of added responsibilities far beyond my managerial capacity.
I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if one day, my superior reports to work and sees that the entire office is up in flames and I’m sitting on a curb shivering while smoking a cigarette, saying stuff like “I swear to God, I didn’t expect the fire to get out of hand that fast” or “I swear I didn’t do it!” or “Dude, do you have like seven bucks? My car wouldn’t start and I don’t think this is the right time for me to advance cash for cab fare.”
I mean shit. Really. God save us all.
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15 Responses to “Promotion. Or something.”
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The Star
Mike "Fucking" Villar
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"The personal blog of Marketing Strategist, Rising Internet Star, Man Blog editor, child pornographer, alcoholic, and cokehead-- Douchebag Jones--Err, Mike Villar!
hi i attended one of your marketing seminars in pasig and I was really entertained by you
is it possible for me to interview you for a research paper please email me if its possible
lol but you probably wrote this from work huh?
Congratulations on the promotion! But I empathize with you on the added workload. Since I’m leaving the call center industry, I guess I have to brace myself.
wow mikey someone’s entertained by your stuttering lol :))
@Jac: wooo nagustuhan mo lang yung Bicol Express namin eh. Anyway, just email me. I usually respond better through email.
@Jemerine: NO, that would be silly! All I do at work is well…work.
@Ade: Good luck in the meat packing business.
@Mia: I don’t stutter anymore! The feedback I commonly get nowadays is that I talk too fast
Nerd
WELL I’m not the one who sleeps with my Mint Condish comic books
Neither do I! Nerd!
Hulolz! Promoshun. Nice.
[…] Mike Villar: Superstar Employee. Also, did I mention I got promoted? […]
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[…] bro, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard of me. If you read my blog, you’d know that I recently got a promotion and although my payslip doesn’t really reflect it yet, I was given verbal assurance that I […]
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