Diet update. And fuck.

Reason #3 why my girlfriend, my parents or pretty much anyone who has to deal with me on a daily basis isn’t very fond of me; aka From the Mike Villar is never going to be successful at anything and probably die young file.

Before I go any further, let me just say that last night was probably one of the toughest nights I’ve had sleeping-wise. See, I crashed right after I drove home from a mini date with the girlfriend and an entire work day of trying to take in whatever it was the trainer from my company’s leadership development program was saying while sneaking in work at the same time. Doing that shit really tires the fuck out of you.

So yeah, I crashed around 12mn, woke up around 3am and couldn’t get myself to fall back asleep thanks largely to the mild anti-depressant I use to self-medicate and treat my severe anxiety with. Right around 6am, I thought to myself “Why don’t you quit dicking around, jack off, take a shower and treat yourself to a nice big meal before getting ready for work?”

But, like most of my plans in life, the entire thing fell apart mere minutes after I thought about it. After taking a shower, I sort of fell asleep on the couch, wet towel draped around my waist and all. Not that this is a bad thing since I only had 3 hours of sleep tops anyway. At this point, I was sort of playing with the idea of ditching work for the day and just catch up on sleep. But before I can come up with a decision, my next door neighbors started revving their retarded motorcycles to start their work day.

Why the fuck not right?

Why not have God screw me over on a morning where I am about to go into the deepest sleep I’ve had in a long time like I wasn’t so sleep deprived already so I can force myself to go to work to sit around dejected as fuck inside my cubicle while wondering if I’ll ever get to have sex again without shelling out thousands of pesos for it?

And because of the severe sleep deprivation that’s been bugging me a lot lately, I, and tell me if this is weird, compensated by going overboard with my food, something which totally derailed my diet.

Just to give you an idea:

Breakfast

• Tocino with 3 cups of garlic rice
• Leftover siopao from Kowloon House
• A can of coke

Pre-Lunch Snack

• Twelve pieces of Chocolate Mallows
• Iced tea
• Nescafe Ice

I know, don’t tell me; somebody who’s supposed to be on a diet has no business even going near anything that has chocolate in it, but you don’t understand. Nobody does. The thing with chocolate is that it has this effect on me where it can turn my foul moods around in an instant.

But yeah, I guess chocolate mallows and Nescafe Ice is probably the worst combination I could’ve had now that I’m on a “Bro, if you really want to get some action soon, you best cut back on sweets. Also, you’re going to have to do something about your axillary hair and the dead skin cells on your pits. God, it looks like a bunch of mountaineers roasted a goat and had some sort of bonfire in there” mindset.

Lunch

• Beef Brisket with a cup of rice
• Double Bart Burger from Burger Machine
• A can of coke

This meal is pretty passable for someone who’s on a diet. Although, I know I shouldn’t have thrown the Double Bart Burger in there. Also, I just want to say that the sauce Burger Machine uses for their Bart Burger tastes like ketchup that was filtered through a Bisaya guy’s jockstrap.

Dinner

• 2 KFC Famous bowls
• KFC Hotshots
• A brownie
• A 16 oz. glass of coke

And this is where everything fell apart. I do not remember exactly when I snapped and decided to go crazy with food but I do remember, albeit vaguely, justifying to myself why I needed to order another Famous Bowl and a brownie. I think my reasoning went along the lines of “You totally deserve it bro. After all, you didn’t get enough sleep last night. Besides, the more you eat these fatty food, the better you’re going to sleep tonight. Seriously, you can’t go wrong with this; so do yourself a solid and order another famous bowl and a brownie.”

So yeah, so much for my diet and exercising. I don’t even know why I bother to exercise by playing basketball with my friends from home. Next time, I’ll probably just bring food, sit on the sidelines and yell at everybody to “Get the fuck back down on D” with a mouthful of afritada and rice in my mouth. I’m pretty sure this will work better than the system I currently have anyway.

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