Oh Come on! (The Bird post)
Posted on April 21, 2008
Filed Under Daily, Faggotry
Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time in spas, massage parlors and, of course, their sordidly exhibitionist wet areas. I know “sordidly exhibitionist” probably doesn’t make sense to you right now; but it will. Also, fuck you.
Anyway, I realized that there is a rule missing rule from the Rules of Spa Wet Areas etiquette that should be set in motion immediately:
Nobody should ever be allowed to be butt-naked longer that what it takes to take off their towel and put on underwear.
Seriously, there is nothing I hate more than guys who think that the wet area and locker room are their own bathrooms; schlepping and whistling their way around, balls bobbing and all.
A couple of days ago, I was at this spa in Timog’s locker room changing after spending two hours at their wet area’s jacuzzi. It was around 8pm or so which meant that like me, many were changing back into their clothes to go home. The locker I got was (strategically) near the benches so I saw many a grown man’ twig and berry as I was drying myself up getting ready to get dressed myself.
All of this is fine; like I said I don’t have anything against people who drop their towels and expose their birds in a time only long enough for them to slide into their underwear. However, on that particular night, there was this business man-looking old Chinese guy a couple of feet away from me who was innocuously sitting down on a bench and cleating his ears with a cotton bud. No big deal right?
Wrong.
Next thing I knew, the guy dropped his towel and was sitting there; untrimmed pubes, balls and birdie hanging out for everyone to see.
I don’t know exactly if he was cleaning his ears the entire time as I (tried) not to stare (and failed) at him. The point is, what we had there was around fifteen minutes of completely unwarranted nudity.
What. The. Fuck. Dude, I get it. You’re body looks rather nice for someone your age and your bird is at least ten times bigger than my calamansi (and this is saying a lot since you’re Chinese and stuff) but seriously, I am not interested in your wares! (Well I might have been a little interested, but I was broke then. Not the point)
People like this guy really blow me out of the water. I have absolutely no inkling as to what drives a grown man to drop his towel and let his, more often than not, unsightly genitals hang for everyone to see. I mean, if you’re regular reader of this blog, you’d know that I am everything but a prig. But Jesus Christ, even if my body’s all buff and even if I was hung like a horse, I really couldn’t see myself flashing my junk to ten other guys in a spa’s locker room. Unless of course I’m doing it for money. We all know that doesn’t count. Kinda like how “S’ing” another man’s “D” doesn’t count if done for money. Whatever.
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The Star
Mike "Fucking" Villar
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"The personal blog of Marketing Strategist, Rising Internet Star, Man Blog editor, child pornographer, alcoholic, and cokehead-- Douchebag Jones--Err, Mike Villar!
But you never complained when you walked in on Coco that one time.
There is a difference between seeing other men naked and letting other men see -me- naked.
I suppose you won’t like my idea of how to save the planet then.
Tell me more?
now, if it were a girl flaunting her goodies….
I bet the dick of the-guy-I-saw-in-the-shower-room-of-a-fitness-club-in-Megamall-when -I-was-in-grade-5-and-only-trying-to-learn-taekwondo-with-my -younger-brother-and-not-hoping-to-see-older-men’s-penises is bigger than your guy’s.