Sometime last week, Somebody from Business World Philippines emailed me requesting me to answer some interview questions. Due to someone’s catastrophic lapse in judgment, the writer asked me to share my thoughts on drumming up sales in a period of economic slowdown stating that my “stature and authority” qualifies me to answer questions such as these (Obviously, not enough people who write for mainstream publications do their research).

Naturally, I asked her if she was serious and after learning that she was, I committed myself to doing it, even though I might as well write something about “breeding racist birds” given the degree of knowledge I have in the field of Marketing.

I agreed to do it mainly because:

1. It would give me more exposure, some professional credibility and at the very least, add to the paltry list of press pieces that feature me.
2. It’s short, meaning I am only required to dish out around 500 words.
3. I get a kick out of churning out advice on topics I do not know squat about. There’s no better feeling in the world than knowing that I’ve have influenced a significant number of people in a field where I’ve had marginal to no success at all and something where I lack any sort of acceptable acumen in. All of these give me a MAJOR boner.

So, two days after getting the email, I sat down with my Macbook and brewed this little tour de force:


1. How do you retain your clients by going beyond merely completing the transaction? What do you do to keep your clients/ make them ask for additional orders from you?
My post-sale marketing strategy actually begins before the first sale is made. I feel that all marketers have an obligation to create a unique value proposition for the products they market and make sure that the customer understands the value the company has delivered to them. This can usually be done by genuinely highlighting your company or product’s salient advantages over the competition.

Customer Experience Management then follows. We usually do this by contacting our top, most important customers, emphasizing that we want to better understand their needs and asking how we can create more value for them in the future.

From this, taking all responses into consideration, we come up with special deals for them and make sure they are notified of all price drops and/or bargains applicable to products directly related to the item they first purchased. After all, there is no hotter lead than a potential repeat customer.

2. In an economic slowdown, how does your company realign (your) sales force with your turnaround marketing strategies?
Our recession strategy is simple: a) We put more weight, effort-wise, on selling to our current customers—What few people see is that during a recession, and when customers make buying decisions, they tend to have a strong predilection for buying from a source they already trust. Since this is the case, we want to make this decision for our current customers easier and more obvious. Our sales teams take extra measures to be more effective with our existing customers—getting down and asking them what they need from us and basically communicating more personally and more intimate with them.

b) We focus our marketing resources to growing market segments. In a recession environment, there are steep declines in some market segments but there are market segments that grow faster and more lucrative than others. These are what a good marketer should see. As an example, my company is a top internet retailer of after-market automotive parts and accessories; In a recession setting and in a world of spiraling gas prices a segment we see the most potential in are parts that increase fuel efficiency and, because people tend to keep their old cars longer in a recession setting and because they tend to break down more often, we also see great potential in marketing replacement parts.

Of course we also would want to reduce investments in segments that are going to get hit the most in a recession like luxury items and performance products.

3. Define (an) effective sales force.? What are the components of an effective sales force?
For me the single most important component of an effective sales force is motivation. And I believe that the best motivation is something that transcends incentives and monetary compensation. Although people in sales can obviously be motivated by money, money is not the only motivator in having them an excellent job.

The people I work with and worked with in the past expect more from their job–feeling valued, respected and appreciated in the organization they work with as well as believing in the product they sell are some of the key factors in achieving the right kind of motivation for sales personnel.

4. What are your approaches to achieve an effective sales force?
Empowering your sales force through training, a good incentive scheme as well a clearly-defined career path worked wonders for me.

–

A couple of minutes later, the writer emailed me back. I opened the email expecting a congratulatory note from her that goes on to say how she loved the piece and it would get published as is and, in the process, cementing herself as the best writer in her magazine and me, being hailed by marketing professionals everywhere as Asia’s premiere marketing wunderkind and sex symbol.

However, upon opening the email, I learned that I had, in fact, missed the deadline she so clearly stated on her previous email by 12 hours. This was followed by “This is great, and I am going to see if I can do something about it. I’ll let you know if there are any plans to publish this.”

Of course, I know that what she actually meant “You blew your chance. This could’ve gotten you out of writing about penis jokes and masturbating into soda cans over the internet and started you off into the wonderful world of discussing direct marketing trends with some Europe-based, Ivy-educated girl with low morals and a throat with an insatiable itch longing to be scratched by nothing but the smallest, most Asian cock.

I could only try to make fun of the situation but, right now, it’s too soon. Fuck.