The Philippine Blog Awards 2008. I am nominated for a Pizza-sounding award.
Because of the sheer stress brought upon me by work and because, as a blogger, I was and will never be one to concern myself with such trivial things like referrers, page views, unique hits* and what not; I have been completely out of the loop as far as current events in the local blogosphere would go.
(*lie. I get around 4,000 page views a day–56% of which originate from the United States and 12%, interestingly enough, comes from the Middle East. Also, traffic spikes on my blog determine whether I’d be happy and functional throughout the day or end up skipping work, staying at home to play with this thing between my legs that looks like a cock, only smaller. Usually while watching new videos at iyottube.com)
I do have Web Analytics tags set up on my blog and, about a week ago, I noticed that I have a handful of visitors jumping in from The Philippine Blog Awards site. I noticed that someone* has nominated me for The Blogger’s Choice Award.
(*me)
The Philippine Web Awards isn’t exactly new to me. In fact, if you click this link, you’d know that April Last year, The Man Blog, a site I am co-founder of was a finalist for The Best Entertainment blog. In the end, we lost to a stupid blogger who writes about Pinoy Big Brother, something that resulted in me walking out of the RCBC amphitheater, the picture below being taken, and my place as the sorest loser this side of Asia being cemented in the annals of history after the aforementioned picture was used as the header for the Philippine Blog Awards website:
After the fact that I was, again, nominated in a category brimming with nominees I could so easily lose to*, my initial reaction was something to the effect of “Fuck all of you, my blog is the shiz! Who cares about your stupid award? Suck my balls! What’s the number to Yellowcab’s delivery service? I’m fucking starving here.”
(*not really. I mean ·´`·.¸.» j u l i a ·´`·.¸.» Seriously? Come on. Am I missing something here?)
Days passed and I forgot about the entire thing until I noticed more traffic coming in from the Philippine Blog Awards site–again because I was nominated for the “Blogger’s Choice Award”, at this point, I thought to myself “Shit! I have to win this award. I’ve never really won anything after I won the spelling bee back in grade school. The award sounds like something they’d serve over at Shakey’s so that’s cool. Besides, there might be a prize associated with it. I’m hoping it’s bag of anti-depressants because I’m going crazy here and I need to get high off of something and I can’t afford to see my shrink and ask her to write me xanax scripts.”
Then, I realized that, maybe besides a shiny trophy, winners get nothing. It’s not like I’m not used to getting nothing though. In fact, in last year’s TMB Christmas party, my friend Fritz gave everyone really cool gifts–somebody got an Axe, somebody got a vice grip; while I, got a huge box of nothing.
So I said, Fuck it; I would make no conscious effort to win this award because again, there is no prize involved. If winning this award means winning at least 500 pesos or Ever Bilena gift certificates, I’d be going door to door right now, prepared to offer you the best hand job you’ll ever get in your life in exchange for a vote and a link from your blog. I know, don’t tell me. It sucks for you that’s not the case here.
I did do a perfunctory review of some of the blogs I am up against which wasn’t such a good idea because now, I strongly feel that literacy, the Internet and blog-writing privileges should be limited to a small percentage of the population.
For instance, I read this post from a fellow nominee– a blog called Basta igat, sikat!:
I think I need psychotherapy or rehabilitation. Ha ha! But wait, let me try to justify things first. I have won 2 very exclusive pairs of Havaianas for the past 2 years. You see, every summer, Havaianas Philippines holds a contest. In 2007, I was one of the 50 winners and received the exclusive Take Us To The Nearest Beach pair. Then again, this year I was among the lucky 70 people to receive the limited edition Flipping for the Beach pair. These are among the highlights of my so-called Havaianas addiction.
Good God. Who the fuck reads this shit? Seriously people, at what point in your lives are you that you get entertainment in someone writing about Flip Flops, a footwear fetish or whatever? Am I missing something here? Please tell me.
I know you guys are probably tired about me talking about how depressed I am or how I masturbate as I cry while I watch a 240×300 porn video window on my laptop, but flip flops? God bless you all.
Anyway, if anything good came out of this little nomination it has to be the fact that a lot of people still appreciate my writing and blogging as an art in general.
There’s a shitload of you who actually voted for me. I mean besides my friends whom I know are just setting me up so that they could watch me crash and burn but man, I am genuinely touched by the number of votes I’ve gotten so far. Let’s not forget that this is after I did some terrible things to some of these people:
Lauren’s Vote For Mike Villar
Pau’s Vote For Mikey
Baddie’s I Believe In Mike Villar
Fritz’s My Vote Goes To Mike Villar
Euri’s Philippine Web Awards 2008
Helga Votes for Mike
Jepoy Votes for Mike
Madz for Mikey!
Liz’s vote
Ozy’s Why Mike Should Win
Marcus declares that he votes for Mike “Fucking” Villar
Noelle wants Mike to be a REAL Internet Star and get rid of “Rising”
Juice’s vote goes to Mr. Villar!
Steel thinks that Mikey is Badassery Personified
Ade’s Vote For Mike Villar!
Arc votes for Mike Villar!
Jayvee Sacramento votes for Mike
Nightdreamer votes for Mike Villar
Vote Wisely, Vote Mikey by Penny
Michelle votes for Mike Villar
My Vote goes to Mike Villar by Joel Ramos
Marco dela Torre votes for Mike Villar
Mike Villar for President by Anne
Because Villar gets my vote by Joiz
Things I like about Mikevillar.com by CM
Wow. I seriously don’t know what to say. But let me leave you with something profound: I may not be rich. But if you look at the friends you have as money, then I am the richest man in the planet. And I shall buy a red couch, those fishbowl thingers they fill up with iced tea over at Jack’s loft and maybe an HD TV and a Dakota Fanning poster. And I will pay with friend dollars.
Thank you.
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