Ugh! Kids nowadays!
Last week, I along with a couple of friends from the office went to this bar in the Ortigas Home Depot complex to de-stress and pop a few bottles. I’m not going to regale you with a colorful account of how we got a good buzz going, exchanged lame jokes about midgets and threw 80’s cartoon trivia around as I know that, in the years I’ve been trying to pass off variations of the same old jokes as new material, you’ve probably grown tired of it.
Anyway, in one of my rest room sorties in between bottles, I found myself in a line which is about five people deep. At the end of the hallway where the restrooms were was an area where people who just finished their business in the rest rooms went straight to wash their hands.
So I waited.
And waited.
A couple of minutes later a really hot girl came out of the ladies’ restroom, went by me and proceeded to wash her hands. Now, this is where it gets interesting: The dude standing in line in front of me (who looked like a total douche–tattoos, piercings and all) went ahead and chewed the rag with the girl.
I didn’t really catch everything they were talking about as I was pretty buzzed myself but what I do remember is that after what only seemed like four sentences, the guy managed to elevate his deal from friendly banter to masterful flirting replete with him subtly brushing his hand against the girl’s arm and smoothly leaning in towards her; a move which, at one point, effectively put his face within millimeters of the girl’s.
Again, I couldn’t hear exactly what the were saying to each other but I did catch the guy saying “your hands are wet” at one point before grabbing a paper towel and going in for the kill with “Let me wipe them for you”
A few seconds later I was watching them gracefully duck into the men’s restroom emerging a few minutes later looking all disheveled and shit. Both of them made no conscious effort to conceal any of this on their way out aside from slightly bowing their heads and walking from the restroom straight back to their tables.
I’ve seen this sort of thing happen in the movies before and back then, I thought that if I ever witnessed it happen right in front of me, my reaction would probably go like “Look! Everyone! That dude is either boning that chick in the restroom! Or at least making out with her! But I really think they’re fucking and shit!” or “Man, I’d totally pay 2,000 bucks right now for some action. Maybe I should call my friend Ricky and see if he could spare me some cash so I could hit the strip club”
Instead, my reaction was more along the lines of revulsion and profound disapproval–so much that I wanted to walk over to the girl’s table and say something to the effect of “What you did back there was really mature, I bet your parents would be proud to know that you spent a week night giving a dude you probably don’t even know a handjob. By the way, I’m Mike and I just wanted to ask what you think about checks and promisory notes.”
Up to this day, I honestly don’t know why I felt disgusted. Maybe it’s because I had to wait an additional 5 minutes or so to take a leak? Or maybe it’s because I am saddened by where most young people’s moral compasses point?
Or maybe it’s simply because I’m getting old and, for some reason, I don’t find doing anything lascivious inside a public restroom “cool”.
But what it is, most likely, is that I’m extremely jealous. Yes, I believe that’s it. I mean, all over the metro, young people are having adventurous sex and that night, I ended up almost throwing my laptop over our balcony because it refused to play old, scratched porn VCDs I’ve had since high school.
tss. Rising Internet Star my ass.
I never thought I’d see the day you’d actually find public sex uncool.
Like I said, I’m probably just jealous. Also, it’s kinda hard not to be disgusted when you have drops of urine trickling down your leg.
Look at the bright side…
I can’t think of any though.
….. Can I have those VCDs?
Hahha…what a funny blog.
Maybe, being disgusted means you actually have class.
And maybe, just maybe that isn’t such a bad thing.
Maybe because they are having sex and well..
We don’t know that! For all we know they just…talked.
Was the guy hot? And yes, you are getting old!
Maybe because, even if they look passably clean, you know deep inside that public restrooms are yucky and even if sex is supposed to be a little dirty and exciting, other people’s germs can be too disgusting for certain situations.
Tsk, kids these days.