Duuudes. Chillax! If you want loyalty, you need engagement. You know what’s a killer move to build engagement with ‘the digital consumer’ (we’ve got that poor sucker’s brain in a jar in our lab, and we’ve already scanned it into our MacBooks)? You know what really builds marketing synergies, and drives brand equity? Social media!! We’ve got it–let’s let people ask President Obama questions!! On Twitter!! Look: think about it: it’ll only take a day, and you’ll be seen as a hero. It’s perception over reality — and that’s what it’s always been about.

HAHAHA This is funny because it sounds exactly like something *I* would say!

…Wait a minute, this actually really sad.