The Philippine Internet Marketing Boot Camp
Last Saturday, I talked about Affiliate Marketing (Surprise! I can talk about stuff besides penis and fat jokes) on the first day of the Philippine Internet Marketing Bootcamp. Surprisingly enough, my presentation went well and was pretty uneventful save for a couple of slurred words and my general incoherence which are pretty normal for me when I talk about shit I don’t really understand or when I’m outright shooting crap (my girlfriend and ex-girlfriends could attest to this).
I could even go ahead and say that if that event had an ass, I probably went crazy on it and kicked the shit out of it.
Anyway, it was nice to see Noemi, Lauren, Dine, Jedi, Sasha, Eugene and Abe among other people during the Boot Camp. There will be another session on Saturday, January 26th at 8am so drop whatever it is that you’re doing and request for an invite NOW.
(If you go, I’ll sign an autograph for you and, if my schedule permits it, I’ll even host your monggoloid son’s birthday party. Whatever. Just go. Please.)
Tangenang shet meeting, pants
This morning, I received word that I will be in a meeting with my company’s C-level management unit and some of the country’s best Internet marketing minds. To say that I am a little ill-prepared for this meeting is like saying that I am only a “little overweight” or I “only burned down my aunt’s house in the province a little” back in 1988. I mean shit I could probably talk more about the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle better than I could talk about the topic of this meeting. It went something like:
My boss: “I hope you got my message yesterday. [C-level management guy] is flying in today for [confidential company shit] and I need you to be there to explain [more confidential company shit] to them.”
Me: [Panicking. Thinking of an excuse but my boss already caught me browsing my fantasy basketball lineup while talking to my girlfriend on the phone about travel plans] “Do I really have to go?”
My Boss: “Yes.”
Me: “Shit.”
My Boss: “Shit” is right.
It’s too late to cram and prepare my reports now so I am only hoping that I do not make too much of an idiot out of myself in front of my employer and colleagues. But even that doesn’t sound too promising right now. If you’re a long time reader of this blog, you’d know that most of the time, I have no fucking clue with regards to what I do or what I’m supposed to be doing at work. I usually work around this by hiding in the conference room of my office with a perpetual scowl on my face. When people do find me in the conference room needing something, I usually just say something to the effect of “Can you leave it in my inbox? I’ll check it out later.” I cannot stress how effectively this has been working for quite some time now.
Un-gay your résumé
For somebody outside Human Resources who does regular staff hires, I absolutely hate resumes. I’d honestly rather peruse an electronic document than to flip through pages upon pages of candidate-submitted CV’s.
As I see it, the trend in Human Resource Management is shifting from giving major consideration to the CV as far as making hires is concerned to something that evenly distributes scrutiny between sources such as blogs (Which, I think, is an effective gauge of a person’s passion and how it could translate into potential real world actions), career-centric social networks like LinkedIn and even what potential employers see when they first search for your name in Google.
This is a natural progression I cannot wait for to happen. However, until such a time when the present breed of Human Resources Managers bequeath their responsibilities to pony tail-sporting, Web 2.0 adroit young professionals, the resume will remain to be a nuisance we have no choice but to deal with.
The main problem faced by people who make hires is that sometimes, the sheer number of candidates applying for a particular position inhibits them from going over individual resumes thoroughly. Resumes are usually given a quick skim and if a detail catches a potential employer’s eye, then maybe he’d read it more thoroughly.
It is tough for a resume to catch the attention of a potential employer and while it’s tempting to pull stunts like using colored paper, vanity photos and crazy fonts on your resume; these along with having a weird ass email address like lhoverbhoyet_totallyrad2@homail.com all scream unprofessional and turns most potential employers off.
On Globe Telecom’s re-branding
One of the more specialized areas of interest my career has led me to study would be corporate branding and positioning. I’ve done a lot of in-depth branding proposals for both foreign and local companies in the telecommunications and internet verticals.
The most critical part of any branding or repositioning campaign would have to be the conceptualization of the company’s or brand’s new logo. The logo is the central element of a company or a brand’s image and must be easily identified with the industry/product/service and must be able to give a clear picture of what is being marketed.
For this reason, the conceptualization of the logo is often where a disconnect between marketing people like myself and design people like FOBCast Co-conspirator Site guy Marco occurs.
Anyway, you may or may not have noticed Globe Telecom’s recent re-branding efforts. Now Globe, being one of the few players in the country’s telecommunication industry, I doubt that the aforementioned re-branding would have any significant or even noticeable impact on the company’s bottom line. Here are, however, a few of my observations as far as their re-branding efforts would go:
Overall Design:
The trend I notice with telecommunications, internet or any company that markets bleeding edge technology for that matter is that their logos are generally chiseled in the sense that designs usually have clean and precise outlines as if cut along the edges. They are also, more often than not angular and avoid any elements that are supple. This way, a perception of being innovative or being at the forefront of innovation is achieved.
This can be observed through the logos of other full-service telecommunication companies like Verizon:
This blog. A little situation.
You know, it’s becoming increasingly obvious to me that perhaps someday soon, my family or people close to me will find this blog. I don’t even think this is a remote possibility since my coworkers already did. That’s fine by me. I mean even with all the risk associated with blogging using your real name, I’ve never really understood the entire point of blogging under a pseudonym.
But really, ask me if I still don’t understand it after I’ve been fired from work and I’m at your doorstep on my knees begging you, my readers, to give me money and food items while talking about shit like “providing you years and years of entertainment” and “how you asshole should give me something back.” or after my mom severs all connections with me because she can’t believe her son, who managed to place himself in the upper 5th percentile of the entire country’s elementary graduating class back in 1993, now writes about racism and giving handjobs to Japanese tourists from the back of his car along Roxas Boulevard on his personal website.
No, really, I don’t care. Because seriously, blogging is this corporate slave’s only way of living out his David Stern/Stephen Colbert Fantasy. So yeah, I’d really rather own up and say “Hey this is Mike Villar. Some of you know and sometimes even heavily censure me in your minds for writing retarded posts about breeding racist dogs and how I often get a stiff at funerals on my blog but you know what? Fuck you, because aside from tits and thoughts of getting wasted in a Makati bar with my imaginary best friend, Erik Estrada, this is what occupies my mind ten hours a day.”
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Mike "Fucking" Villar
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"The personal blog of Marketing Strategist, Rising Internet Star, Man Blog editor, child pornographer, alcoholic, and cokehead-- Douchebag Jones--Err, Mike Villar!
